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Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen.


Pablo Empanada
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:lol: É preciso coragem para ter tal atitude!!!! O homem estava a conter-se, até amassar o próprio cigarro.

Acho bem, ao menos a chavala já não tem com que insultar em "publico" os pais, e aprende a ter responsabilidade. Mas.... porque raio gastou 130$ em Software? xD

Cumpz

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Não sei como podem apoiar este idiota lol

Tanto drama "curse words" LOL

Em vez de fazer esta figura de merdinhas, se calhar se tivesse passado mais tempo com a filha, talvez a coisa tivesse corrido de outra forma. O que a filha lhe fez não é algo que a maioria dos filhos faça, portanto se calhar não era mal pensado parar 5 minutos e pensar que se calhar o problema não é a filha.

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Acho que em parte concordo com o gajo.. Se há coisa que me assusta se tivesse um filho (principalmente uma filha) é a facilidade com que partilham coisas com qualquer pessoa desconhecida.

Basta ter noção do que se encontra pela net para ter medo de ter os nossos filhos expostos a isso.

Por outro lado, isto também deve-se a má educação da parte dos pais. Se deixam a filha usar o Facebook, deviam ensinar-lhe um uso mais restrito ou então nem a deixavam usar.

São merdas complicadas, certamente, e eu como não tenho filhos, não vou julgar mais.

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Não sei como podem apoiar este idiota lol

Tanto drama "curse words" LOL

Em vez de fazer esta figura de merdinhas, se calhar se tivesse passado mais tempo com a filha, talvez a coisa tivesse corrido de outra forma. O que a filha lhe fez não é algo que a maioria dos filhos faça, portanto se calhar não era mal pensado parar 5 minutos e pensar que se calhar o problema não é a filha.

Tas a falar sem conhecimento do que se passou para alem do que viste no video, se fores ler os posts no facebook dele a explicar percebes que n é assim.

I think it was very effective on one front. She apparently didn’t remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her. I think she thought “Well, I’ll just wait it out and I’ll get it back eventually.” Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won’t ever forget and it’ll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she’ll remember it and wish she hadn’t done what she did.

The second lesson I want her to learn is the value of a dollar. We don’t give her everything she asks for, but you can all imagine what it’s like being the only grandchild and the first child. Presents and money come from all sides when you’re young. Most of the things she has that are “cool” were bought or gifted that way. She’s always asked for very few things, but they’re always high-dollar things (iPod, laptop, smartphone, etc). Eventually she gets given enough money to get them. That’s not learning the value of a dollar. Its knowing how to save money, which I greatly applaud in her, but it’s not enough. She wants a digital SLR camera. She wants a 22 rifle like mine. She wants a car. She wants a smart phone with a data package and unlimited texting. (I have to hear about that one every week!)

She thinks all these things are supposed to be given to her because she’s got parents. It’s not going to happen, at least not in our house. She can get a job and work for money just like everyone else. Then she can spend it on anything she wants (within reason). If she wants to work for two months to save enough to purchase a $1000 SLR camera with an $800 lens, then I can guarantee she’ll NEVER leave it outside at night. She’ll be careful when she puts it away and carries it around. She’ll value it much more because she worked so hard to get it. Instead, with the current way things have been given to her, she's on about her fourth phone and just expects another one when she breaks the one she has. She's not sorry about breaking it, or losing it, she's sorry only because she can't text her friends. I firmly believe she'll be a LOT more careful when she has to buy her own $299.00 Motorola Razr smartphone.

Until then, she can do chores, and lots and lots of them, so the people who ARE feeding her, clothing her, paying for all her school trips, paying for her musical instruments, can have some time to relax after they finish working to support her and the rest of the family. She can either work to make money on her own, or she will do chores to contribute around the house. She’s known all along that all she has to do is get a job and a lot of these chores will go away. But if you’re too lazy to work even to get things you want for yourself, I’m certainly not going to let you sit idly on your rear-end with your face glued to both the TV and Facebook for 5 to 6 hours per night. Those days are over.

Q: How did your daughter respond to the video and to what happened to her laptop?

A: She responded to the video with “I can’t believe you shot my computer!” That was the first thing she said when she found out about it. Then we sat and we talked for quite a long while on the back patio about the things she did, the things I did in response, etc.

Later after she’d had time to process it and I’d had time to process her thoughts on the matters we discussed, we were back to a semi-truce… you know that uncomfortable moment when you’re in the kitchen with your child after an argument and you’re both waiting to see which one’s going to cave in and resume normal conversation first? Yeah, that moment. I told her about the video response and about it going viral and about the consequences it could have on our family for the next couple of days and asked if she wanted to see some of the comments people had made. After the first few hundred comments, she was astounded with the responses.

People were telling her she was going to commit suicide, commit a gun-related crime, become a drug addict, drop out of school, get pregnant on purpose, and become a stripper because she’s too emotionally damaged now to be a productive member of society. Apparently stripper was the job-choice of most of the commenters. Her response was “Dude… it’s only a computer. I mean, yeah I’m mad but pfft.” She actually asked me to post a comment on one of the threads (and I did) asking what other job fields the victims of laptop-homicide were eligible for because she wasn’t too keen on the stripping thing.

We agreed we learned two collective lessons from this so far:

First: As her father, I’ll definitely do what I say I will, both positive and negative and she can depend on that. She no longer has any doubt about that.

Second: We have always told her what you put online can affect you forever. Years later a single Facebook/MySpace/Twitter comment can affect her eligibility for a good job and can even get her fired from a job she already has. She’s seen first-hand through this video the worst possible scenario that can happen. One post, made by her Dad, will probably follow him the rest of his life; just like those mean things she said on Facebook will stick with the people her words hurt for a long time to come. Once you put it out there, you can’t take it back, so think carefully before you use the internet to broadcast your thoughts and feelings.

I actually just had to load the video file itself on YouTube because it’s a better upload process than Facebook, but the intended audience was her Facebook friends and the parents of those friends who saw her post and would naturally assume we let our children get away with something like that. So, to answer “Why did you reprimand her over a public medium like Facebook” my answer is this: Because that’s how I was raised. If I did something embarrassing to my parents in public (such as a grocery store) I got my tail tore up right there in front of God and everyone, right there in the store. I put the reprisal in exactly the same medium she did, in the exact same manner. Her post went out to about 452 people. Mine went out to about 550 people… originally. I had no idea it would become what it did.

To answer the "why don't you just take the video down" comments we've receivied: Because our attorney's told us not to. The license granted to YouTube when it was posted protects us as long as it's hosted there. Once it gets removed, that particular copyright protection and intellectual property right ceases to exist on the YouTube medium. Additionally, my own thought on the matter was "Well, it's out there now and I can' take it back. If I take it down, it'll only get replaced with some pieced-together edited version or portrayed some other way. Taking it down would only imply that we are hiding from it and trying to make it go away.

We do want it all to go away, but we're not hiding from it. I said it and everyone knows it... there's nothing else to do but leave it.

Ja para nao falar que este shitty dad esta-se a aproveitar do video para... Angariar dinheiro para uma instituicao

Just went back to see, and the original goal for the Muscular Dystrophy Association for our area was $40,000 amongst all the volunteers who participated.

Just off these facebook shares alone, you guys have helped raised over $5,000.00... that's about 16 percent of the total.. not counting all the thousands of dollars others have raised.

If I'm going to have a goal on here, let's see if we can make it one that's just astronomically impossible to achieve! Can we collectively raise 40,000 just off this facebook wall and your sharing of this link?

I've received MILLIONS of hits the last couple days.. 99% of them for something I can't be proud of (though I do stand behind it). If even 1% of the viewers make a donation of $1.00 to the MDA, you guys alone can be responsible for helping hundreds of kids this year.

Edited by Pablo Empanada
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Acho que em parte concordo com o gajo.. Se há coisa que me assusta se tivesse um filho (principalmente uma filha) é a facilidade com que partilham coisas com qualquer pessoa desconhecida.

Basta ter noção do que se encontra pela net para ter medo de ter os nossos filhos expostos a isso.

Por outro lado, isto também deve-se a má educação da parte dos pais. Se deixam a filha usar o Facebook, deviam ensinar-lhe um uso mais restrito ou então nem a deixavam usar.

São merdas complicadas, certamente, e eu como não tenho filhos, não vou julgar mais.

Não concordo nada! Assim acaba-se o jailbait 14.gif

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Não sei como podem apoiar este idiota lol

Tanto drama "curse words" LOL

Em vez de fazer esta figura de merdinhas, se calhar se tivesse passado mais tempo com a filha, talvez a coisa tivesse corrido de outra forma. O que a filha lhe fez não é algo que a maioria dos filhos faça, portanto se calhar não era mal pensado parar 5 minutos e pensar que se calhar o problema não é a filha.

Tas a falar sem conhecimento do que se passou para alem do que viste no video, se fores ler os posts no facebook dele a explicar percebes que n é assim.

I think it was very effective on one front. She apparently didn’t remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her. I think she thought “Well, I’ll just wait it out and I’ll get it back eventually.” Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won’t ever forget and it’ll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she’ll remember it and wish she hadn’t done what she did.

The second lesson I want her to learn is the value of a dollar. We don’t give her everything she asks for, but you can all imagine what it’s like being the only grandchild and the first child. Presents and money come from all sides when you’re young. Most of the things she has that are “cool” were bought or gifted that way. She’s always asked for very few things, but they’re always high-dollar things (iPod, laptop, smartphone, etc). Eventually she gets given enough money to get them. That’s not learning the value of a dollar. Its knowing how to save money, which I greatly applaud in her, but it’s not enough. She wants a digital SLR camera. She wants a 22 rifle like mine. She wants a car. She wants a smart phone with a data package and unlimited texting. (I have to hear about that one every week!)

She thinks all these things are supposed to be given to her because she’s got parents. It’s not going to happen, at least not in our house. She can get a job and work for money just like everyone else. Then she can spend it on anything she wants (within reason). If she wants to work for two months to save enough to purchase a $1000 SLR camera with an $800 lens, then I can guarantee she’ll NEVER leave it outside at night. She’ll be careful when she puts it away and carries it around. She’ll value it much more because she worked so hard to get it. Instead, with the current way things have been given to her, she's on about her fourth phone and just expects another one when she breaks the one she has. She's not sorry about breaking it, or losing it, she's sorry only because she can't text her friends. I firmly believe she'll be a LOT more careful when she has to buy her own $299.00 Motorola Razr smartphone.

Until then, she can do chores, and lots and lots of them, so the people who ARE feeding her, clothing her, paying for all her school trips, paying for her musical instruments, can have some time to relax after they finish working to support her and the rest of the family. She can either work to make money on her own, or she will do chores to contribute around the house. She’s known all along that all she has to do is get a job and a lot of these chores will go away. But if you’re too lazy to work even to get things you want for yourself, I’m certainly not going to let you sit idly on your rear-end with your face glued to both the TV and Facebook for 5 to 6 hours per night. Those days are over.

Quê pá? Sem conhecimento de causa? Mas ele fazer á filha o mesmo que ela lhe fez, porque foi educado assim é desculpa para alguma coisa? Leste o que eu disse sequer? O facto de a filha lhe ter feito o que fez só prova que o tipo de educação que lhe deu, que por sua vez foi o mesmo que ele próprio recebeu, está errado!

Ja para nao falar que este shitty dad esta-se a aproveitar do video para... Angariar dinheiro para uma instituicao

Ainda bem que ele está a aproveitar-se disto para angariar fundos para uma instituição, percebe-se claramente que era a ideia original deste campónio com o cigarrito numa mão e a disparar contra um computador na outra. Ridiculo.

Edited by Hyde
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Não sei como podem apoiar este idiota lol

Tanto drama "curse words" LOL

Em vez de fazer esta figura de merdinhas, se calhar se tivesse passado mais tempo com a filha, talvez a coisa tivesse corrido de outra forma. O que a filha lhe fez não é algo que a maioria dos filhos faça, portanto se calhar não era mal pensado parar 5 minutos e pensar que se calhar o problema não é a filha.

Tas a falar sem conhecimento do que se passou para alem do que viste no video, se fores ler os posts no facebook dele a explicar percebes que n é assim.

I think it was very effective on one front. She apparently didn’t remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her. I think she thought “Well, I’ll just wait it out and I’ll get it back eventually.” Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won’t ever forget and it’ll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she’ll remember it and wish she hadn’t done what she did.

The second lesson I want her to learn is the value of a dollar. We don’t give her everything she asks for, but you can all imagine what it’s like being the only grandchild and the first child. Presents and money come from all sides when you’re young. Most of the things she has that are “cool” were bought or gifted that way. She’s always asked for very few things, but they’re always high-dollar things (iPod, laptop, smartphone, etc). Eventually she gets given enough money to get them. That’s not learning the value of a dollar. Its knowing how to save money, which I greatly applaud in her, but it’s not enough. She wants a digital SLR camera. She wants a 22 rifle like mine. She wants a car. She wants a smart phone with a data package and unlimited texting. (I have to hear about that one every week!)

She thinks all these things are supposed to be given to her because she’s got parents. It’s not going to happen, at least not in our house. She can get a job and work for money just like everyone else. Then she can spend it on anything she wants (within reason). If she wants to work for two months to save enough to purchase a $1000 SLR camera with an $800 lens, then I can guarantee she’ll NEVER leave it outside at night. She’ll be careful when she puts it away and carries it around. She’ll value it much more because she worked so hard to get it. Instead, with the current way things have been given to her, she's on about her fourth phone and just expects another one when she breaks the one she has. She's not sorry about breaking it, or losing it, she's sorry only because she can't text her friends. I firmly believe she'll be a LOT more careful when she has to buy her own $299.00 Motorola Razr smartphone.

Until then, she can do chores, and lots and lots of them, so the people who ARE feeding her, clothing her, paying for all her school trips, paying for her musical instruments, can have some time to relax after they finish working to support her and the rest of the family. She can either work to make money on her own, or she will do chores to contribute around the house. She’s known all along that all she has to do is get a job and a lot of these chores will go away. But if you’re too lazy to work even to get things you want for yourself, I’m certainly not going to let you sit idly on your rear-end with your face glued to both the TV and Facebook for 5 to 6 hours per night. Those days are over.

Quê pá? Sem conhecimento de causa? Mas ele fazer á filha o mesmo que ela lhe fez, porque foi educado assim é desculpa para alguma coisa? Leste o que eu disse sequer? O facto de a filha lhe ter feito o que fez só prova que o tipo de educação que lhe deu, que por sua vez foi o mesmo que ele próprio recebeu, está errado!

Ja para nao falar que este shitty dad esta-se a aproveitar do video para... Angariar dinheiro para uma instituicao

Ainda bem que ele está a aproveitar-se disto para angariar fundos para uma instituição, percebe-se claramente que era a ideia original deste campónio com o cigarrito numa mão e a disparar contra um computador na outra. Ridiculo.

Ridiculos sao os teus comments, o target dele era apenas os pais e amigos que tinham visto ela a gozar com ele só que fez-o atraves do youtube e ficou viral.

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@Hyde sabes que há pais que dão educação aos filhos e mesmo assim eles dão em degenerados e vice-versa.

Quereres resumir isto tudo a uma questão de educação dos pais é no minimo simplório.

Sem dúvida, mas viste o mesmo video que eu? Viste uma pessoa armada em autoridade moral, a justificar que educa "assim" porque foi educado "assado" e no minuto seguinte a disparar contra um portátil... certo?

A tua capacidade argumentativa é esmagadora demais para mim, tens o dom da palavra.

Deixa tar que a tua.. Hyde contra o mundo.

Não te preocupes que a diferença está bem à vista.

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Entao vamos lá ver qual foi o resultado final desta acto atroz do Pai texano que pelos vistos n vais à bola com a figura coboiana dele. Teve uma conversa com a filha sobre os vídeos, mostrou-lhe os vídeos, ela no fim rio.se da situação e pedio desculpa ao pai dando-lhe razão. Desta vez ao contrario de as outras não se vai esquecer tão cedo para voltar tudo ao mesmo ao fim de uma semana.Ora então o que esta assim tao errado o que o pai fez?

Ou tambem és daqueles que defende que n se pode dar um açoite nas crianças ja como acontece nos USA em que se ve isso publicamente chamam logo a policia e os serviços sociais

Edited by Pablo Empanada
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Rapaz, acho que até tu percebes que não tenho qualquer interesse em continuar a discutir este assunto contigo, deixei isso bem claro uns posts atrás a partir do momento que te julgaste espertalhão o suficiente para classificares a minha opinião de ridícula.

Acho muito bem que se dê uns "açoites" nas crianças quando precisam, olha nem é preciso ir muito longe, é de caras por exemplo que a ti fez-te faltas uns "açoites" na escola primária para não chegares agora à idade adulta e dares os pontapés que dás na língua do país em que vives.

Isto não é os comentários do site do correio da manhã ;)

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